In last week’s blog I shared my abandonment of 2015 New Year’s resolutions in favor of self-acceptance. And I’m working on it. I really am. But it’s hard to go completely cold turkey so I’ve decided to allow myself some New Year’s questions to noodle on instead of resolutions. And in doing so I notice that just asking the question, “what questions do I want to live with this year?” engages me more than tackling a list of resolutions or answers.
As organizational consultant Peter Block says, “answers always disappoint,” and I think he’s right. I noticed it again on Monday morning when I read the paper to learn who won the Golden Globes that were awarded the night before. I wasn’t disappointed with who won what, as much as I was with the fact that the intrigue, including who wore what, was over.
Answers always or often disappoint.
Questions enliven.
One of my favorite inspirational writers, Dawna Markova, asks the most beautiful questions in her luscious book, Wide Open. Here are just a few:
- When is it just the right time for?
- Who are you when you are not being productive?
- How do you have to live so you will die with your heart free?
- How can you access and strengthen your gifts with the same fervor you fix and correct your limitations?
- What is it about being alive you love the most?
Yesterday a client of mine was feeling quite beleaguered by the prospect of looking for a new job and a possible career change. But when we brainstormed a list of questions (such as, what is the work that most enlivens me now? and how can I make the best, most pleasurable use of my time and talent?) to guide her actions, we both felt her spirit lift and her motivation for her action steps grow.
I’ve also seen the magic of questions in the women who join my coaching circle (next one begins on March 31!). They get as much from marinating in the questions they bring to the circle as they do in the answers.
As for me – one question that is dancing in my being right now – who would I be and what would I do if I knew my worth weren’t at issue?
So tell me, dear reader:
What question are you living with this year?
Take care of your special self.
PS: Spring Coaching Circle Starts 3/31. Contact Cheryl for details.
