Embracing Failure and Leading with Grace
In a society fixated on success, we often overlook the opportunity to cultivate wisdom that can come from failure. In my many years coaching women, I’ve learned that failing with grace is not just a skill, but a profound source of strength.
Dev Shah, a former spelling bee champion, underscores the transformative power of embracing failure. His process for understanding the how and why of language is awe-inspiring. Dev’s quiet, steady presence while standing under the spotlight is just as impressive.
“Champion spellers are adept at more than just decoding language. They know how to manage their emotions onstage and think clearly under pressure. They also know how to lose with grace.”
How we respond to disappointments – like not getting a promotion, or having a proposal rejected – determines our ability to prepare for our next success.
Changing the Narrative of Failure
Embrace the Learning Opportunity: Losses are valuable learning experiences if we take time to reflect on them dispassionately.
Ask yourself:
- What worked?
- What am I proud of myself for?
- What might I do differently next time?
A client of mine just used her disappointment in not getting a new job as a chance to teach her 9 year old daughter about taking risks, managing disappointment, and learning from setbacks. Way to go, Mom!
Maintain Perspective: As someone once said – “Failure is never fatal and success is never final.” Setbacks are temporary. Progress is often a slow and steady process.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your efforts and the courage it took to take on the challenge, regardless of the outcome. And if you’re struggling to be gentle with yourself, reach out to a good friend who would like nothing more than to remind you of your beauty and brilliance.
We have a unique opportunity to redefine our relationship with failure. Amy Edmondson’s groundbreaking book, Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well, further illuminates this concept. Drawing on extensive research, Edmondson highlights how fostering a culture where failure is embraced, rather than feared, can lead to innovation and resilience.
Dev’s competitive spelling journey demonstrates our success isn’t what defines us. More often it’s our willingness to continue to venture onwards after failure.
Lastly, in honor of a new season of baseball (go Phils!) I’ll remind you that a player with a successful 300 batting average has failed to get on base 7 out of 10 times!
So take a breath, dust yourself off, and step back to the plate.
