One of the homework assignments I offer my coaching circle participants is to make a list of “dependable joys” – activities they can count on to bring them pleasure and/or serenity. Things like a bubble bath, hot cocoa, or writing a handwritten letter. I actually ask them to list 50 – yes, you read that right – 50 such joys. They usually groan and ask, “How can I get to 50?” And I reply, “Maybe you can’t – but give it a week and see what happens.” And invariably, the following week, the women come into the coaching circle beaming and eager to share a few items from their lists. Some overachievers even take pride in exceeding 50!
Then, as the women are sharing their lists, I ask the following questions:
- How was it to write this list?
- How many of the items on this list require more than $10?
- What’s possible for you now that you have a list like this close by?
Here’s what making a list of dependable joys can do for you:
- It can make you feel better just by writing it. It puts attention on the good, the positive and the nourishing things in our lives.
- It creates a sense of abundance in a world where we are so often triggered into a sense of scarcity.
- It reminds us that we can take care of ourselves. We have dependable ways to soothe and comfort ourselves.
And, this is a great activity to engage your family in as well. For instance:
- Ask every member of your family to list her/his top 5 dependable joys and post on the refrigerator.
- When your child is having a bad day, remind them of their list and see if there is one dependable joy they can act on.
- Invite your family to create a list of the top 5 dependable joys for the entire family. For example, making breakfast together, carving pumpkins or snuggling under one blanket as during movie night.
So, dear reader, tell me
- What are a few of your dependable joys?
- What one dependable joy can you give yourself this week?
Take care of your special self.
Dependable joys — 1. watercolor painting never fails; 2. reading Loren Eiseley; 3. cooking and sharing a good meal; 4. the journey of writing a complete story or essay; 5. performing random acts of kindness percolates joy for more than me;
Wonderful, Carole Jean! Hope you make plenty of time for these simple yet significant joys.
I love this exercise! I am going to take you up on both exercises! So for me…. Dependable joys… 1. snuggling my kids; 2. yoga; 3. nature (like the drive in today… observing the sunlight filtering through the brightly colored trees… so beautiful!). To give myself? Hmmmm… Go to yoga, make time for snuggling, and try like hell to get as much mileage out of my joy moments.
What a yummy, joyful list you have started, Jennifer. You go! Thanks for sharing.
I just challenged my mom, sister, and sister in law with the list and started mine. My favorites so far are 1. hot chocolate, 2.a big exhale…whatever caused it
3. a funny quote, card, comedian, you tube and sharing it 4. a new song or scripture that suddenly just speaks to me 5. a great church service with my family 6. Getting that damn thing done…whatever it was I think I have momentum! let’s see if I can get to 50
Lovely to have your family join in Lori. Let’s see if you can get to 50 and ENJOY the process! (-: