Happy New Year! Or should I say, Happy New Year’s Resolutions for those of us who make them (notice I didn’t say keep them!).
Here are a few common resolutions that we often make and share:
- “I resolve to lose 15 pounds.”
- “I resolve to save enough money for a _____.”
- “I resolve to find the perfect relationship/job.”
What we don’t share is the rest of the sentence, and that’s where the trouble begins:
- “I resolve to lose 15 pounds…then I’ll be happy.”
- “I resolve to save more and spend less…then I’ll be happy.”
- “I resolve to find the next great job/relationship…then I’ll be happy.”
STOP! Don’t fall for the “If this happens…then I’ll be happy” thinking trap. It’s just not true.
The truth is, and there is plenty of research to back this up, that it’s actually the opposite. If you want to lose weight, have more work success and attract satisfying relationships, then be happy! Happiness comes first! What a revelation this was to me.
Research tells us happy people are more likely to do the following:
- Secure job interviews and be positively rated by supervisors
- Handle managerial positions better
- Like their job
- Have more friends they can rely on
- Exercise
- Report less loneliness
So then the question becomes, how do we become happy?
Well, since this past September I’ve been enrolled in a Certification Program in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) that has been teaching me the science and tools of happiness/well-being/flourishing. I’ve been learning powerful techniques for increasing resilience, optimism, flow and goal-attainment. There isn’t a day that’s gone by since I started the program that I haven’t applied something I’ve learned to my coaching, parenting, friendships, or marriage.
And stay tuned to this blog because I resolve to share juicy science-based tips and ideas on how you can create more well-being and life satisfaction for yourself and those you care about.
In the meantime, if you want to learn more about CAPP, you could
- Check out their website (the next program starts in March, and you don’t have to have a background in psychology to enroll).
- Experience a free sample of a class.
And my gift to you, if you enroll, is to give you this promo code cherylr10 to get $100 off of your registration.
Lastly, if you want to increase the likelihood of meeting your resolutions, research has shown that making a written contract with yourself can significantly increase your probability of meeting your goal.
So, dear ones, tell me:
What’s your go-to strategy for increasing your happiness?
My go to strategy is poetry, music, exercise, meditation and spending time with loved ones.
A strategy I have been working on is to be my own benchmark. I find a quick way to reduce my happiness-factor is to start comparing myself, or my life, to others. (Facebook can be a superhighway to reduce my happiness-factor if I am not careful!)
Thanks for writing this Cheryl. I spent too many years waiting to go to college to be happy, waiting to get a job to be happy, waiting to get married to be happy, waiting to have kids to be happy, waiting until the kids grow up to be happy, etc, etc. Now, I’m so privileged because I’ve learned how to be happy and am happy right now!
One strategy is savoring and consciously appreciating/noticing the good (people, times and places) and another is trying to let go of what’s out of my control. The latter is easier said than done. Thank you Cheryl for another wonderful blog post!
That class sounds great! I can’t wait to hear all of the tips you learn! I don’t always post back here, but I LOVE getting these e-mails.
Thanks so much, Gretchen. yes – the class is amazing. I think there is one in your neck of the woods, too!
Just revisiting this post. This one was thought provoking and challenging so I didn’t have a quick answer! So here are some micro moments!….#1. when I wake up at 3:30 am to worry, it is NOW an OPPORTUNITY to cuddle with my dog, my husband and connect with God so now 3:30am is a gift! #2. Don’t plan every moment and be surprised at what happens instead. This is a challenge for me 😉 #3. play with my kids instead of just managing them. I am finding the common theme is stop staring at the long term goal and striving for that at every single moment and instead be in the moment and say “right now, all is right” Thanks for keeping me thinking!