Cheryl Rice Leadership

Inspiring Women to Lead with Confidence & Courage

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You’ll Never Believe What’s Getting Rewarded in School These Days!

February 8, 2016

Recently a coaching client, we’ll call her Nancy, shared a story with me that had both our jaws dropping. A few days earlier, Nancy’s middle-school daughter, we’ll call her Jane, came home from school thrilled with a recognition she had received. Nancy, eager to celebrate with Jane, asked what the recognition was for. Jane eagerly reached into her backpack and presented the certificate to Nancy.

It read, “This Certificate of Recognition is for Jane for demonstrating GRIT by spending lunchtime studying for her classes. Keep up the good work.”

Neither Nancy nor I could believe that the school was actually rewarding a 13-year-old girl for skipping lunch. For skipping her break. For skipping her time with friends.

Now, I’m all for rewarding grit, folks, but this ain’t it. Research psychologist Angela Duckworth, from the University of Pennsylvania, defines true grit as the combination of perseverance and passion. But nowhere does that definition say, “at the expense of our wellbeing.” We have no idea what was motivating Jane. It could have been passion in pursuit of long term goals, but it could have just as easily been fear – fear of not being fully prepared for class, fear of getting a B instead of an A, fear of having an awkward conversation at lunch (this is middle school we’re talking about!) or who knows what. And even if Jane’s desire to study during lunch was motivated by her love of learning, is it right for the school, which guides children at this tender age, to be valuing that over self-care? I don’t think so. And neither did Nancy, who coincidentally has been working to improve her own self-care routines!

Now, the school was most likely intending to reward hard work and delayed gratification. But they missed the boat by also sending the message that self-care is incompatible with achievement. When in fact we know that self-care is fundamental to achievement, health and fulfillment.

Fortunately, as is true for everything in life, Nancy recognized this as an important teaching moment and had a series of meaningful conversations with Jane that generated some new strategies Jane can use to manage her time and take healthy breaks. In fact, now both Nancy and Jane are talking regularly about their own self-care routines. And yes – Nancy also expressed her thoughts on the matter to the school.

So dear reader, tell me:
How will you nourish yourself today?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Don’t Be Fooled…Be Happy!

January 7, 2016


Happy New Year! Or should I say, Happy New Year’s Resolutions for those of us who make them (notice I didn’t say keep them!).

Here are a few common resolutions that we often make and share:

  • “I resolve to lose 15 pounds.”
  • “I resolve to save enough money for a _____.”
  • “I resolve to find the perfect relationship/job.”

What we don’t share is the rest of the sentence, and that’s where the trouble begins:

  • “I resolve to lose 15 pounds…then I’ll be happy.”
  • “I resolve to save more and spend less…then I’ll be happy.”
  • “I resolve to find the next great job/relationship…then I’ll be happy.”

STOP! Don’t fall for the “If this happens…then I’ll be happy” thinking trap. It’s just not true.

The truth is, and there is plenty of research to back this up, that it’s actually the opposite. If you want to lose weight, have more work success and attract satisfying relationships, then be happy! Happiness comes first! What a revelation this was to me.

Research tells us happy people are more likely to do the following:

  • Secure job interviews and be positively rated by supervisors
  • Handle managerial positions better
  • Like their job
  • Have more friends they can rely on
  • Exercise
  • Report less loneliness

So then the question becomes, how do we become happy?

Well, since this past September I’ve been enrolled in a Certification Program in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) that has been teaching me the science and tools of happiness/well-being/flourishing. I’ve been learning powerful techniques for increasing resilience, optimism, flow and goal-attainment. There isn’t a day that’s gone by since I started the program that I haven’t applied something I’ve learned to my coaching, parenting, friendships, or marriage.

And stay tuned to this blog because I resolve to share juicy science-based tips and ideas on how you can create more well-being and life satisfaction for yourself and those you care about.

In the meantime, if you want to learn more about CAPP, you could

  • Check out their website (the next program starts in March, and you don’t have to have a background in psychology to enroll).
  • Experience a free sample of a class.

And my gift to you, if you enroll, is to give you this promo code cherylr10 to get $100 off of your registration.

Lastly, if you want to increase the likelihood of meeting your resolutions, research has shown that making a written contract with yourself can significantly increase your probability of meeting your goal.

So, dear ones, tell me:
What’s your go-to strategy for increasing your happiness?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

You Matter…

December 10, 2015

Even if your to-do-list remains undone,
Even if the song in your heart remains unsung,
Even if the joy of your season hasn’t begun,
You matter.

Even when the news isn’t bright,
Even when your budget is tight,
Even when your progress is slight,
You matter.

For no matter the season
No matter the reason
To not know you matter
is the truest of treason.

So come all ye faithful,
Let’s quiet the chatter,
Put your hand on your heart
And know that you matter.

Wishing you and yours a warm and nourishing holiday season.

Cheryl PS: If you were touched by this poem, please forward it to a friend.

PPS: If you were touched by the photo, then join me in spreading some magic. It is a business card designed on Vistaprint. The font is Ad Lib, size is 22. I ordered 500 and have been having the grandest time sharing them with friends, strangers, and secretly placing them in random places. Oh what fun!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Be Yourself or Be Miserable

September 9, 2015

Sometimes a leader I am coaching will ask, “How much of myself do I have to change to be successful? How can I respond to the feedback my colleagues are giving me and still be me?”

These are great questions. And for my clients and in my own life what I’ve come to believe is that change that is not congruent with one’s true temperament, strengths, and passions is not sustainable. So it’s not about making changes that distance oneself from oneself but making changes in a way that incorporates the best of who we are. This allows us to be authentic leaders.

The clarity was reinforced for me this summer as I read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. The book is a memoir of Ms. Rubin’s year-long adventure applying various lessons from science and pop culture on how to be happier. It was a quick and inspiring read. As she was experimenting with various personal growth habits like getting more sleep, Ms. Rubin gave herself permission to apply the habits in a way that made sense for her—not just a textbook application. Her rule: “Be Gretchen.” Simple but not always easy.

So, when I think about making a change or tackling a difficult project I think doing it in a way that still feels like me – reminding myself to “Be Cheryl.”

So, dear reader, tell me:
What can you do today to be more like yourself?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

How One Woman Followed Her Passion to Make a Difference in the World

April 9, 2015

Have you ever read a headline on the news about the plight of women in another country and felt a mix of hopelessness and helplessness? Or read one of Nicholas Kristof’s illuminating op-ed pages in the New York Times and wonder what on earth you can do to ease the suffering of people so far away? Well, if so, have I got a book for you!

My friend and fellow author Betsy Teutsch has just published an inspiring and empowering book, 100 Under $100: One Hundred Tools for Empowering Global Women. I am so excited by Betsy’s achievement that I want to share her and her book with you in this revealing interview.

How did you come to write this book? Have you written a book before?

I coauthored a book, The Encyclopedia of Jewish Symbols, twenty years ago, which is a whole different subject matter than my new book 100 under $100. I knew I wanted more control over the publication process, a hallmark of my new publisher, She Writes Press.

Like many baby boomer women, I went through many transitions in my fifties—my children left the nest, giving me added time and flexibility. I was working part time at my Judaica art business, and around the same time, I fell in love with blogging. In time, I landed a part-time gig that magically combined two of my interests: eco-smart technology and microfinance. I loved immersing myself in learning and writing about poverty alleviation via solar panels or improved cookstoves. I quickly learned that although women were users of much of the tech, they were missing from its design or dissemination. Women’s empowerment leaders focus on improving health care, expanding girls’ education, and female financial inclusion but aren’t demanding labor-saving devices to lessen girls’ and women’s daily drudgery—how will women be empowered when they literally have no electrical power? This is the area I decided to focus on—the intersection of affordable tech and women’s empowerment.

I jumped in by looking for images of women working in what is called “humanitarian tech”; it turned out there are lots of them. I experimented with creating Pinterest boards to display images of women engaged in all manner of activity: water testing, solar energy, maternal health, integrating cellphones with mapping female harassment—amazing stories. After a few weeks of treasure hunting, I looked at all these amazing images and stories and realized: wow, these women are a book! A book that shares visuals of women creating and distributing affordable solutions to the poverty traps that hold women back. It took three years, but now it is indeed the book 100 Under $100.

betsy

How did you decide what to include and what to leave out?

I developed the criteria during the two-year research process. There is a lot of “solution-hype” out there, claiming a breakthrough that solves an old problem, but despite a huge buzz, it doesn’t actually work. So, I didn’t include a solution unless there was second-party verification of its legitimacy. The exception is promising pilots, but I am always careful to say pilots are unproven.

The tools needed to be understandable and accessible to lay readers and used by households in daily life, so for example, an app for clinics to diagnose diseases via cellphones is not included. The tools also needed to be replicable and not overly specific to unique circumstances, like a padded donkey saddle for laboring women designed by an Afghani man, which just didn’t make the cut.

Lastly, the tools needed to engage women.

Does your book include tools for empowering women in the United States as well?

My focus is on low-resource regions lacking electrical, fuel, water/sanitation, and digital infrastructures. However, there are several initiatives mentioned in the book that are applicable to America’s low-income citizens. Here are some examples:

  • Many low-income Americans are unbanked, meaning they pay much higher fees for financial transactions than wealthier people do. Mobile banking is far less robust here than, say, in Kenya, whose model we could adopt.
  • Cheap information and communication technology (ICT) tools, like video, are used to invite women to directly capture their stories and experiences, a process called participatory video. This technique is used very powerfully by Drexel University’s Witness to Hunger initiative.
  • People are shocked to learn many American Navajo citizens are without grid electricity. Solar lights are marketed there by Elephant Energy, featured in the book.

The cover of your book is beautiful—can you tell me a bit about it? Has the woman who is on the cover seen the book?

Vijaylaxmi Sharma resisted a forced marriage at thirteen. She and her family were ostracized, but she stayed in school and excelled, becoming a teacher. Now an activist for eradicating forced girls’ marriage, she is sought after by village mothers who are considering postponing their daughters’ marriage ages. This photo is from PhotoShare, a Johns Hopkins University humanitarian data base. She does not know she is on the cover and becoming an icon for women’s empowerment! Through social media, I have tried to locate her. I hope to send her a copy one day.

What was your biggest surprise in doing this research?

I was shocked and outraged to learn two crucial facts about abortion around the world. The first fact is that in the first nine weeks, all it takes is two pills from the pharmacy to end a pregnancy. Misoprostol/Mifepristone together costs very little, is safe, and if there are complications, women can seek medical help similar to following a miscarriage. Making it difficult to access the medications adds hassle, trauma, and expense. This is true in the United States as well, by the way.

The second outrageous fact is that when abortions are restricted, like in many Catholic countries, or just generally unavailable due to fragile health structures in corrupt/impoverished nations, the death rate from unsafe abortions (from infections or internal injuries) is 350 times what it is in America! Mostly for lack of two pills. This is a supreme injustice. And many of those women are aborting because they have too many children already, and now those kids are motherless.

How do you think writing this book has changed you, and what has the writing process taught you about yourself?

It has shown me that it is possible to connect with people all around the world to help improve women’s lives. Someone from India just tweeted me a question. Amazing, really. Also, it showed me how much I could accomplish if I worked hard and focused my energy, instead of using it in little dribs and drabs for a multitude of projects. But this summer, I do intend to go to the beach!

Do you have a specific goal in mind for publishing this book, for instance are you trying to raise a certain amount of money or increase involvement?

My goal is impact—to provide resources for the initiatives highlighted in the book, to educate readers of all ages about the problems, the solutions, and how they might get involved. The book is available on Amazon, but some of the highlighted initiatives are book partners; I am fulfilling orders directly and contributing 30 percent to the organization. I consider that a terrific win-win!

What/who sustained you through the writing process?

The material was so compelling and interesting that really, I couldn’t wait to jump in every day. I loved the images, stories, and increasingly, the design/science issues, and how engineers overcome challenges of both materials and human quirks!

What wish, or wishes, do you have for your book?

I’d like to see it in the hands of every student who heads to the developing world for a service project. I’d like small foundations to use it for finding great initiatives they can fund or invest in. I’d like people to pick issues that are the most compelling to them and jump in as advocates.

What do you do when you’re not writing and promoting your book?

I am a huge walker and enjoy yoga and Nia dance. I have a new little granddaughter, Shulamit, who is thoroughly engaging. And truth be told, I love Facebook.

 Thank you, Betsy. You are as inspiring to me as the people you profile in your book.

So dear ones, please tell me:
Whether at home or abroad, how will you make a difference today?

Photo Credit: Paul Pruitt

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: courage, person of influence, professional success

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